


Another Adrestian Tail

by AMX004_Qubeley



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, During Timeskip (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Fluff, Gen, Hubert accidentally gives himself a tail, Real Bullying Hubert Hours, Very Vague Spoilers Only, literal fluff, not actually a sequel to An Adrestian Tail (sorry) but I guess sort of a spiritual sequel, the Black Eagles have mixed reactions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:49:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26750140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMX004_Qubeley/pseuds/AMX004_Qubeley
Summary: Edelgard questioned Hubert as she accompanied him down the hall to the war room. “Where did you find a spell like this?” she asked.“One of those blasted spellbooks of that once-noble Nuvelle brat,” he huffed. “The spells are listed and categorized by their usage, generally speaking, but their descriptions are… lacking, if extant at all. I’ve been researching them to better understand their effects.”“And what category wasthisone under?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder to glimpse the tail dragging itself behind him on the floor like a bridal train. She did some mental math based on the length of his legs and concluded that it must have been about four feet long or more. And it was indeed fluffy, its fur long and silky like that of a well-groomed longhair cat, and those two white stripes—Oh, dear.“Self-improvement,” he grumbled.
Relationships: Bernadetta von Varley & Hubert von Vestra, Edelgard von Hresvelg & Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	Another Adrestian Tail

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Peregrine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peregrine/gifts).
  * Inspired by [An Adrestian Tail](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22093897) by [AMX004_Qubeley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMX004_Qubeley/pseuds/AMX004_Qubeley). 



> I wrote this yesterday evening because the idea popped into my head while I was on my afternoon walk and my friends are a bunch of enablers. Especially you, Riley. Thank you 💖

Edelgard raised her hand, curled it into a fist, and knocked three times on the door to Hubert’s study. “Hubert,” she called out. “It’s five o’clock. Time for today’s war council meeting. The rest of the Black Eagles Strike Force are already gathered.” She heard no response from within.

She worried about Hubert. Both in general, and on this specific occasion. He was never late for anything. In fact, on more than one occasion _he_ had to be the one who made sure _she_ was not late for meetings or events.

Perhaps, she assured herself, he’d fallen asleep while doing his research. He’d been burning the candle at both ends lately, poring over as many tomes of black magic and dark magic as he could get his hands on to see if any of their secrets could be turned to the war effort in new and interesting ways. If he’d worn himself out and collapsed in a heap on his desk, then all would be well. If he’d fallen to an assassin’s blade in his back or poison in his coffee, though…

Edelgard knocked and called out yet again, waited for no response, and resorted to drastic measures. The Crest of Flames burned like liquid fire in her veins, and with a mighty blow she separated the door from its frame, sending it to the ground with a heavy and resounding thud.

“Hubert,” she said, striding into the room. “It is time for the war council to convene. I’ve decided to come and collect you, since—”

Her eyes focused first on the empty desk before her, adjusted to the shadows wreathing the bookshelves that stood from floor to ceiling, and honed in on Hubert’s pale face in the darkness. He stood with his back to the wall, straight as a rail, his raven hair and black mage’s cloak blending into the darkness. Only wavering candlelight from his desk lit the room, deepening the shadows carved by his cheekbones into his face.

“Hello, Lady Edelgard,” he said, still standing stiffly in place. His voice was the hoarse rasp of someone who had foregone food and water for the better part of a day. “I had hoped you would think I’d been sleeping.”

“You know me better than that. What’s going on? If you’re feeling ill, I’ll take you to the infirmary and have Professor Manuela look after you.”

Hubert shook his head. “That will not be necessary. I am fine. Please go to the meeting without me; I shall be along shortly.”

“Hubert, what’s gotten into you?”

“I was practicing a spell to improve my sense of balance. I think I may have done it wrong, so… I shall stand in place.” His posture wobbled a bit. “Until its effects wear off.”

“And how long will that be?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know, Your Majesty.”

Edelgard took a step closer toward him. “If you’re worried about falling over, then I’ll walk with you. Come on. The others are waiting.” She reached out and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him along and forcibly separating him from the wall. He stumbled a bit, and that was when she saw it.

Trailing behind him, blending in with the shadows, was a tail. A very long, very fluffy, very _large_ tail spilling out from behind the hem of his cloak. Its fur was the same black as the hair on his head, save for two white stripes running up its length all the way to its tip.

Edelgard’s jaw dropped and a sharp bark of involuntary laughter burst out of her; she immediately clapped her hand over her mouth to silence herself and forced herself to choke it down. “I’m sorry, Hubert,” she assured him. “That was—a _surprised_ laugh.”

“I’m sure it was,” he said, chuckling mirthlessly. “Well… I suppose I’d been a fool to think I could hide it. Very well. I’ll accompany you to the meeting.”

She questioned him as she accompanied him down the hall to the war room. “Where did you find a spell like this?” she asked.

“One of those blasted spellbooks of that once-noble Nuvelle brat,” he huffed. “The spells are listed and categorized by their usage, generally speaking, but their descriptions are… lacking, if extant at all. I’ve been researching them to better understand their effects.”

“And what category was _this_ one under?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder to glimpse the tail dragging itself behind him on the floor like a bridal train. She did some mental math based on the length of his legs and concluded that it must have been about four feet long or more. And it was indeed fluffy, its fur long and silky like that of a well-groomed longhair cat, and those two white stripes—

Oh, dear.

“Self-improvement,” he grumbled.

“Perhaps you should have left the research to Linhardt,” Edelgard suggested.

They made their way to the war room with little incident and Hubert slipped inside, careful not to show his back to anybody and sitting at the head of the U-shaped table beside Edelgard. All of the rest of the Black Eagles Strike Force were already seated and waiting within. The Strike Force consisted of her seven other former classmates in the Black Eagles house, as well as Ashe Ubert and Mercedes von Martritz of the Blue Lions, Lysithea von Ordelia and Lorenz Hellman Gloucester of the Golden Deer, and a gaggle of delinquent former students who had called themselves the Ashen Wolves. Jeritza, one of Edelgard’s top generals, was in attendance as well. There was an empty spot at the table where Byleth would have sat. While she was gone, nobody wished to fill it.

“Sorry we’re late,” Edelgard addressed her peers. “Hubert was trapped under a pile of books and needed my assistance to free himself.” Hubert chose not to contradict her lie, given that it was far less embarrassing than the truth.

“I’ve been there,” Linhardt said, nodding along. “Not fun.”

“Now, onto business,” Edelgard said. “Ferdinand, your report on the northern front—”

“Oh, wait! I have a question!” Constance said, leaning forward with hands clasped together and a bright, foxish smile on her face. “Hubert, how goes your research? What mysteries have you uncovered from those wonderful spellbooks of mine?”

_“Wonderful?”_ Hubert hissed. He rose to his full height. And so did his tail.

Everybody stared at him, wide-eyed, slack-jawed.

“Uh… Hubie?” Dorothea asked, breaking the silence. “You’ve got a little something, uh… behind you.”

“It is not a _little_ something,” Petra replied. “It is a something, but it is big.”

Caspar leaped to his feet. _“It’s a tail!”_ he exclaimed as Hubert’s pale face grew paler.

Lysithea peered at him. “Hubert… _why_ were you trying to turn yourself into a skunk?”

“Ah!” Constance giddily clapped her hands. “So you _have_ been looking into my collection! What do you think? Is the Nuvelle family grimoire not simply _incredible?”_

“Constance,” Hubert growled, his voice slow, even, and measured, “would you care to explain to me why you had this spell listed under _‘self improvement’_ while I still have the restraint to avoid killing you on the spot?”

“What?” she responded, her smile shrinking by a few teeth. “Is it _not_ an improvement?”

He slammed his palms on the table. “How _would_ it be?!”

“Tails help with balance,” she replied matter-of-factly, staring up at him with an innocent look in her eyes that made it seem as though the answer was obvious.

“Everybody calm down,” Edelgard said, to no avail.

“How long until it wears off?” Hubert snarled.

“A day. Perhaps. Or more,” Constance said.

“It was a week when Coco used that spell on me,” Hapi said, completely deadpan.

“Two when she tried it on me,” Yuri added. “At least it was a rat tail, though. Easy enough to conceal.”

“Wait, is it a different tail for everyone?” Lysithea asked. “How does _that_ work?”

“It was a little bunny tail for me,” Balthus said. He rested his forehead in his hands. “Dear Goddess, that was embarrassing.”

“If you knew what this spell did,” Hubert asked Constance, trembling with fury, his fur bristling, _“why did you not_ write that down _in your book?”_

She merely tapped on her forehead and smiled. “Perfect recall. Runs in the family.”

_“Everybody,”_ Edelgard bellowed, _“sit down!”_

Everybody sat down. Hubert made as best an attempt as he could to stow his tail back underneath his cloak. Silence fell over the room.

“Now,” she said, catching her breath, “I’m sure you’ve all had a lot of fun at Hubert’s expense, but we have a war to wage. Ferdinand. The northern front. If you would please.”

Ferdinand stood up and cleared his throat. “Certainly, Lady Edelgard. I’ve prepared a thorough report. The Immaculate One has yet to make an appearance on the battlefield, but—”

Hubert’s tail sprang up again.

Dorothea burst out laughing.

“Dorothea,” Edelgard said.

Dorothea kept laughing.

_“Dorothea.”_

Her laughs turned to air-starved wheezes, tears pouring down her cheeks as she pounded her fist on the table. _“Y—You know what they say—what they say about—oh, Goddess—about men with—big tails—”_ she gasped, choking on her laughter.

_“Dorothea! Step outside and wait in the hall until you’ve composed yourself!”_ Edelgard roared, slamming her fist on the table.

Dorothea nodded and hurried out the door, still giggling.

“It’s not _that_ funny,” Lysithea said, pouting seemingly on Hubert’s behalf.

“I am apologizing for Dorothea,” Petra said to Hubert, politely bowing her head to him. “Your tail is not being funny. She was laughing _for_ you, not _to_ you.”

“Um, actually, the expression is, ‘with you, not _at_ you,’” Ashe offered. “And, um… I think Dorothea _was_ laughing at him.”

Hubert crossed his arms. “We are not here to discuss this any further. Ferdinand. Your report, please. I daresay your prattle would actually be soothing compared to this rabble.”

“Hey, don’t worry about Dorothea!” Balthus said, offering him a grin to lift his spirits (though very few things, and certainly not a grin, could lift something so heavy). “If she keeps this up, just, y’know… turn yourself around and spray her.”

_“I beg your pardon?”_ Hubert gasped, his eyes bulging. Edelgard had never seen him look so mortified, disgusted, and embarrassed all at the same time and had half a mind to just cancel the meeting and send everybody home.

“I mean, you’re a… You’ve got all the _parts,_ right?”

“No,” he said, his face turning red all the way up to the tips of his ears. “Just the tail.”

Edelgard was very relieved to hear that.

“Ya _sure?”_

“Just. The. Tail.”

“Okay, okay.” Balthus folded his arms and looked away. “Sure would come in handy if you did…”

“Hubert,” Linhardt asked, gesturing at the tail, “is that thing as soft as it looks? Because I’m thinking of quite a few potential applications for maximizing naptime efficiency…”

Jeritza stood up. “This is stupid,” he drawled. “I’m leaving.”

“No, stay,” Edelgard said, and he sat back down. “We’re going to begin the meeting in earnest now.” She patted Hubert on the shoulder. “I’m sorry about all this,” she whispered to him. Hubert prided himself on his carefully cultivated and consummate sinister demeanor, even though it didn’t seem to affect very many people save for Bernadetta and _she_ was also equally afraid of just about everyone else. Edelgard feared his pride might never recover from this incident.

“Oh, it is nothing for you to concern yourself with, Lady Edelgard,” Hubert said. “I have never been mocked so viciously, and I find the experience quite enlightening; almost… _invigorating.”_

The door opened and Dorothea stepped back into the war room.

“Ah, Dorothea,” he said to her, scowling. “Welcome back. Have you gotten all the giggles out?”

She took one look at him, doubled over laughing with her hands clutching her sides, and hurriedly did an about-face and excused herself from the room again.

“If you would like to hear my opinion,” said Ferdinand, offering an opinion nobody wanted to hear, “I think it is a fine tail, Hubert. A fine tail indeed.”

“A _fine_ tail?” Lorenz added, raising his eyebrows. “It is an _exquisite_ tail, Marquise Vestra.”

Mercedes raised her hand, as though she were still in a classroom. “Your Majesty, I have an idea,” she said.

“Yes?” Edelgard asked.

“We should have Constance cast that spell on all of us,” she said, “so that none of us will be able to laugh at each other.”

Bernadetta leaned forward and opened her mouth as though she wanted to say something, then snapped it shut and tried to hide behind Lysithea, which didn’t work because she was much taller than her.

“No,” Edelgard said. She let her head sink into her hands. If only Byleth were here— _she_ would know exactly what to do to maintain order here. “Petra, go check up on Dorothea and see if she’s composed herself. I want to get through this meeting no matter how long it takes. Ferdinand, please. Tell us of the northern front.”

The meeting dragged on with little incident from then on. Hubert kept his tail under control, and the rest of the Black Eagles kept their mouths under control, and eventually, everyone returned to their quarters for the night. Tomorrow would be a big day, provided Hubert was back to normal by then. Edelgard accompanied him across the monastery to the dormitories just in case his balance was still off.

“I’m terribly sorry about all this,” Edelgard told him. “If I’d known your condition would have turned our war council into a circus I’d have let you stay in your study.”

Hubert shook his head and let out a bitter laugh. “You were right to drag me to the council. You know as well as I that we cannot put the war on hold for anything so simple as cosmetic issues, even for a day. If some magic force were to, say, transform you into a rodent, would you let that halt your campaign? I think not.”

“That’s a very specific hypothetical,” Edelgard said, shuddering. “Was there another spell you were researching?”

“Absolutely not! What do you take me for?” Hubert let out a sigh. “At any rate, have you noticed that today was the most Dorothea has ever laughed since the war began?”

“Do you feel proud to have lifted her spirits?”

“Perhaps I do, Your Majesty. Perhaps I do.” He leaned back and looked over his shoulder. “Bernadetta!” he called out to the patch of violet hair peeking out over one of the hedges. “I know you’re following us!”

“Eek!” Bernadetta leaped out of her hiding place and threw herself to her knees before him. “P-Please don’t kill me for following you! O-Or spray me! Actually, the latter would be worse b-because only tomato juice gets that stink out and tomatoes aren’t in season a-and I know the monks used to c-can them b-but I don’t know where they k-kept the jars when we took over the monastery or if they’re even still good and—”

“Calm down, Bernadetta,” Hubert said. “I wouldn’t subject you to such a horrible fate even if I could. You’ve been following us for quite some time now, and you’ve clearly been meaning to say something through all of today’s council meeting. So… what do you want to say to me?”

“Um… never mind! Nothing! I—I definitely wasn’t spending the whole meeting thinking about how soft your tail looked and how much I wanted to touch it! I was just following you because all our dorms are in the same place! Yeah, Bernie, he’ll definitely believe that! What kind of weirdo would want to pet a giant fluffy tail, anyway?”

Hubert sighed, rolled his eyes, and produced from his cloak the tail that had so captivated Bernadetta’s imagination. The silky, glossy black and white fur spilled over his hands as he held it up for her to see. “You may pet it,” he sighed. _“Once.”_

Bernadetta looked up at him, her eyes wide. “Y-You mean it?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

_“Really?”_

“Really.”

“Yes?”

Hubert nodded.

Bernadetta took a deep breath, swallowed a lump in her throat, and very carefully reached out and rested her hand atop the blanket of fluff with all the trepidation and apprehension of someone placing their hand into a wolf’s maw. “Wow,” she gasped, raking her fingers through the fur, “it’s so soft and silky!” She sounded as though she were on the verge of fainting. “I’d never thought skunks were so, uh… um… pretty?”

Edelgard thought she saw the faintest hint of a blush paint Hubert’s cheeks, and perhaps even the even fainter hint of a smile.

“Does that c-count as once?” Bernadetta asked him.

“Perhaps,” he said, “I can tolerate twice.”

“That’s okay!” she squeaked, taking several cautious steps away from him before bolting and running past him toward the dormitories. _“Thank you, I’ll never forget this, bye!”_

One of Hubert’s trademark sinister chuckles bubbled its way up from his throat as he let the tail flop back down to the ground.

“Are you starting to get used to that thing, Hubert?” Edelgard asked him, smiling wryly at him.

“Perhaps, Your Majesty. Though I’ll still be quite glad when it is gone.”

“Now,” she said, scratching her chin, “I do believe Linhardt had some ideas about using that thing to, uh… ‘maximize naptime efficiency,’ and I’d like to try them out myself.”

“You’re asking me to let you use my tail as a pillow tonight,” Hubert deduced.

“Only if it works,” she clarified.

“The things I do for love,” he muttered under his breath.

“Excuse me, Hubert?”

“Nothing, Your Majesty.”


End file.
